26 summers

Today I am 26 summers old.

I'm not going to celebrate by claiming depression, being dragged to dinner and a bar, and be hungover and miserable tomorrow. I'm also not spending it with friends. I'm a bit too hermitty to enjoy that life.

Instead, today I baked myself some brownies, grabbed some fresh herbs for homemade mexican dinner tonight, and watched Harry Potter with Olivia.

 I sipped tea, while reflecting on my year and all the changes I've made and who I'm becoming and how that's affecting my world and those in it. Twenty-five was good to me. I learned to share all of me with my family, I learned to let go of what has already passed. I learned that I love the whisper of snow in January, the stillness of -40 F. I love the remarkable green that is seemingly overnight, breathed into the woods in the spring. I love the adrenaline rush of adventure in breath-taking places mere miles from my do or.

I love being a mom. I mean I really thought I did at first but it just gets better. I'm totally getting laugh lines and forehead wrinkles and I'm sure some gray hair will work its way in eventually but I mean it when I say that I never knew happiness or true joy or love before this year.  This was the year where I really learned what I wanted, from myself and from life.  

And I have it all in my arms every night.